...Giveth and it Taketh away

The very day that I got approved for the next batch of "Summer Funds", my computer chair decided to break. I've had the chair for at least the past five years if not longer and when it finally gave up there was no repairing it.

I'm quite certain that the metal bits in the chair weren't designed to be used for as long as I have had the chair so when they finally broke - several of the bits actually 'ripped' apart.

So, as soon as I get some funds back in my wallet - the universe decides to encourage me to spend it quickly.

Oh... joy.

Boomdiada

Because I can't get this blasted song out of my head.

I had to share.

Click here.

-T

What goes thump?

There are many things that make noise,
crickets, cats, and cicada and boys
but few of them make a thump in the night.

Now even if you allow
for the occasional growl
there are few things that go thump.

But that is exactly what awoke me at four in the morn,
a thump that sounded as loud as a horn.

The thump was that of a tree as it fell,
more accurately as it's crashing death's knell.

With a strong summer blow,
the trees twisted to and fro
and one did go thump in the night.

As I launched from the door
to see ever so more,
I spied what had given me such a fright.

'twas a branch and a limb and two trunks did fall,
for when one tree fell
it took them all.

Now I know the answer
of what goes thump in the night.
It's the sound of a tree
attempting to flee
and forgetting that trees can't take flight.

(This post brought to you because I can't get that damn 'Hippy Grandma' out of my head)

-Tom

I've been blogged!

Ok, so it's only Em's blog about my outdoor kitchen, but still.

Have a look here.

-Tom

Cellphone Problems

Just FYI:

For the past few days my cellphone has enjoyed dropping calls, not ringing, sending calls directly to voice mail and the like.

I have no idea what's wrong with it and I am in the process of getting a replacement from AT&T. It seems to work best when it's plugged in (usually at night).

I will try and call people back (it hasn't stopped doing that part yet) if it tells me that I had a call.

Otherwise, find me on yahoo or email.

Patience.

-Tom

How to freak out your host in 13 steps

Step 1: Wake up at 8:30 a.m. and realize that the 'small' leak you discovered in your car yesterday may not have been so small with the torrential down-pours that we've been having of late.

Step 2: Investigate the 'small' leak and discover that not only is your driver seat wet, but there is an INCH of standing water in the floor board. Yes, an inch.

Step 3: Momentarily loose your icy facade and grumble out demonic slurs upon the birds and squirrels within ear-shot.

Step 4: Investigate the leak further to discover that what attempts you have made to seal what -might- be a leaky spot has been completely ignored by the rain as though it were the Maginot Line.

Step 4.a.: Wonder if Saturn was invented by the French.

Step 4.b.: Scribble note to self, "Saturn. French? Dig!" in notebook.

Step 5: Check weather.com and discover waves and waves of rain clouds heading for your position.

Step 5.a.: Fully understand what it might feel like to be the commanding officer along the Maginot Line after the first wave of German soldiers have gotten past you and then find out that there are more coming.

Step 5.b: Consider your options and decide that rather than use a French answer to this problem, try Welsh.

Step 6: Realize that your car, though parked under a friend's deck, is also pointing nose-in to their garage.

Step 7: Decide that the best option is to simply remove yourself from the field of battle until you've properly prepared yourself. (And hope your hosts won't freak when you want to borrow their garage for the rest of your visit.)

Step 8: Investigate their basement.

Step 8.a: Realize that for the years that your hosts have lived in their house, you've never seen them use their garage as a container for anything other than boxes (both full and empty).

Step 9: Organize their basement / garage into a space that's large enough to accommodate your car.

Step 9.a.: Move piles and piles of card board bits thither and yon. (Can I use thither in a thentance?)

Step 9.b.: Discover lost pages for the Pilgrim's Journal in the piles of empty boxes that have been scattered about.

Step 9.c.: Fight overwhelming urge to tidy your host's garage / basement.

Step 9.d: Become stumped at the presence of a weight bench in their basement cocooned by box-debris.

Step 9.e.: Really fight the urge to tidy your host's garage / basement.

Step 9.f: Discover that the large lump under the pile of boxes is actually a couch. (so that's where that thing went.)

Step 9.g: Really, no kidding, fight the urge to tidy your host's garage / basement. (This is where I'm channeling my inner Welshman. Yes, I'm still Irish but I bare a striking behavioral resemblance to a certain Welshman named Ianto and we'll leave it at that.)

Step 9.g.1: Fight the urge to sing 'Captain Jack' by Billy Joel while writing this blog.

Step 10: Finish cleaning a space for your car and go back into your host's house to ask if you can do what you've been preparing to do for the past thirty minutes.

Step 11: Quietly creep up the stairs to their bedroom since they're still not moving this morning. (around 9:30 a.m. - which may be early for some people and especially if there's a baby involved.)

Step 12: Ask the question: "Can I borrow your garage for the rest of the day?"

Step 12.a: Wait for their sleep-induced, mental-lethargy to catch up with what you just asked.

Step 12.b: Explain the situation about your car and pause dramatically for appropriate snickers and repeats of "What? What?" from your half-asleep hosts.

Step 12.c: Wait for one of them to say, "It won't fit." and then explain that you've already made a spot for your car.

Step 13: Gratefully accept your host's permission to use their garage for a while and move your car out of the range of fire (or rain) that is headed your way.

Step 13.a: Wait for them to fully wake up and wonder if your asking to borrow their garage was actually a dream or something.